It’s been sixty years this year since fluoride was first introduced to British drinking water, and looking at the state of this summer’s transfer market in the Premier League, it’s difficult to avoid the conclusion that the conspiracy theorists might have been onto something.
By Ian King
Because this particular window has just been so… strange. To a point, this was always to be expected. Premier League PSR rules have turned out to be more testing than the clubs who voted it into existence probably expected. Points deductions and fines have already been issued, and there’s every possibility that there will be more this season. Manchester City’s 115 charges, of course, have already been brought forward to September, though that’s obviously a somewhat different matter.
This has a knock-on effect on the ways in which clubs spend money. The June 30th dividing line which marks the demarcation between last season, for example, has been critical for clubs who are desperate to balance their books for last season. Intra-club sales and loans have become increasingly commonplace, and although the Premier League has already carried out the singular trick of taking a bad PSR system and replacing it with something even worse, even that doesn’t really kick in until the end of this season.
Of course, some clubs’ transfer activity has been more bizarre than others. Chelsea continue to act as though the laws of financial physics don’t apply to them, and on the surface their policies remain as demented-looking as ever. Has anyone given any consideration whatsoever to the small matter of how this vast number of players are going to feel over a lack of first team football?
FIFA haven’t increased the number of players allowed in teams because Chelsea appear unable to stop themselves from pulling out their credit card every twenty minutes. Something, it continues to feel, has to give over this. But it doesn’t appear that this has actually happened yet.
You might have thought that Raheem Sterling’s start to the new season, which consisted of being left out of their squad entirely for their first game against Manchester City, might have sounded a few alarm bells among his fellow pros, but there’s been little to indicate that this has actually been the case. It’s difficult to avoid the conclusion that there are a lot of young, talented players who are happy to warm the Stamford Bridge bench, and even that’s if they’re lucky; Sterling couldn’t even manage that on the opening weekend.
This is a weirdness that transcends national borders, too. Federico Chiesa, for example, has already been told that he doesn’t feature in the plans of the Juventus head coach Thiago Motta for the new season, and that has led to a predictable flurry of speculation over where his next destination will be. Barcelona are the hot favourites to be his next destination, but it should surprise nobody whatsoever to find out that Chelsea and Manchester United may also both be in the chase for him.
In some senses, it’s understandable. Chiesa is an excellent striker whose contract in Turin expires next summer. Because of this, it’s likely that any transfer fee involved will be relatively modest. But the transfer fee is only one component of the cost of signing him. His wage requirements will be high, and any club bringing in a player of this quality is going to have to accommodate him somewhere.
It’s hardly as though Chiesa is a callow youth with potentially a couple of decades’ playing time left in him, someone who can afford a couple of years on the bench or out on loan. He’s already 26 years old and therefore approaching the peak years of his career. He will surely expect first team football wherever he goes next. Is he guaranteed that at Stamford Bridge or Old Trafford this season? Well, it seems that it won’t stop them trying.
And considering what we’ve witnessed over the summer, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to surmise that whoever signs him won’t have given that much thought to what they’re actually going to do with him. Increasingly, Premier League transfer activity feels like rubbernecking at compulsive consumers who can’t stop themselves from spending money, it often feels, for the sake of spending money.
We’re at the point at which it’s almost impossible to say whether some transfer rumours are real or have been generated by AI. Aaron Ramsdale to Wolves? Sure, why not? Eddie Nkeitiah to Nottingham Forest? Might as well! Conor Gallagher to Atlético Madrid? Well, if Eric Dier can make the Bayern Munich first team…
At this point of the season, it feels as though we could just do with this window being closed before league matches begin. Increasingly, it doesn’t really feel as though it’s doing anybody much good any more, even if all that fluoride is very good for your teeth.
(Cover image from IMAGO)
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