If you had a penny for every time a top-division side lost by a nine-goal margin over the weekend, you’d have two pennies, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. There was lots of action apart from Liverpool and Celtic’s massive wins too, including Union Berlin creating history in the Bundesliga and Union Saint-Gilloise painting Brussels yellow and blue. We will be going over all of that and more in this edition of Last Weekend.
By Neel Shelat
🏴 England: Liverpool 9-0 Bournemouth
The Premier League’s annual 9-0 drubbing was handed out this weekend, and for once, Southampton were not on the receiving end of it. Instead, it was fellow South Coast side Bournemouth who lost by the joint-biggest margin in the league’s history.
Luis Díaz opened the scoring less than three minutes into the match, and three minutes later, Harvey Elliott doubled the home side’s advantage. Another quickfire double around the half-hour mark saw Trent Alexander-Arnold and Roberto Firmino join the list of goalscorers, while Virgil van Dijk added a fifth just before half-time. Chris Mepham’s own goal made it six just seconds into the second half before Firmino scored his second in the 62nd minute. Late on, Carvalho and Díaz capped off a historic win at Anfield.
It was an absolute field day for all of Liverpool’s star players as far as FPL is concerned, but there was one outlier. Mohamed Salah walked away from this match without a goal or assist, much to the dismay of the 3.3 million Fantasy managers that captained him.
Back in the real world, Liverpool’s first win of the season propels them to the top half of the table, while Bournemouth are already hovering around the relegation zone with a terrible goal difference of -14 after just four matches.
🏴 Scotland: Dundee United 0-9 Celtic
Over 300 kilometres north of Anfield, there was another nine-goal thrashing handed out in Great Britain. In this case, the hosts Dundee United were on the wrong side of the scoreline, as defending Scottish Premiership champions Celtic returned to their place at the top of the table in some style.
Unlike Liverpool, Celtic got off to a relatively slow start, scoring their second goal in the 40th minute. They doubled their lead in first-half stoppage time, though, and that is when things began to get ugly for the home fans at Tannadice Park. By the hour-mark, Celtic were seven goals to the good, and a couple of late strikes helped them record their largest-ever away win.
Both Kyogo Furuhashi and Liel Abada went home with a match ball, while Jota, Josip Juranović and Carl Starfelt chipped in with a goal each. Of course, such big scorelines are a result of significant xG overperformance, but registering a tally exceeding 5.5xG in a match is truly incredible. Manager Ange Postecoglu could not have asked for a better birthday gift, albeit two days belatedly.
Celtic have been drawn in a tough Champions League group where Real Madrid and RB Leipzig will be favourites to progress, but if they can keep performing at this level, a return to the competition’s knockout stage (after failing to reach it for a decade) just might be a possibility.
🇩🇪 Germany: Schalke 1-6 Union Berlin
Saturday was a day of records in the Bundesliga. Yann Sommer made 19 saves – the most in a single Bundesliga match ever recorded – to earn a point for Borussia Mönchengladbach against Bayern Munich. Before that, Union Berlin broke a club record as they scored six goals in a Bundesliga match for the first time in their history.
Their opponents were Schalke, who remain winless following their return to the Bundesliga. The scores were level after the half-hour mark when Marius Bülter’s penalty cancelled out Morten Thorsby’s opener, but then it was time for the Sheraldo Becker show. The Surinamese forward also made history by becoming the first Union player to have a tally of four goals after the Bundesliga’s first four matchdays in a season with goals on either side of half-time in this match.
He has clearly never heard of xG.
In fact, Union probably haven’t either, because they had a significantly lower xG tally than their opponents in this match.
In all seriousness, Union are no strangers to this sort of performance. Their counterattacking style of play requires clinical finishing to be effective, and the likes of Becker and Sven Michel offer just that. The East Berlin-based club are currently level on points with league leaders Bayern, whom they will face next weekend at the Stadion An der Alten Försterei.
🇧🇪 Belgium: Union Saint-Gilloise 2-1 Anderlecht
The rise of Royale Union Saint-Gilloise has been one of the most enrapturing footballing stories in recent times, and even after the disappointment of missing out on the title last season, they are not letting up.
On Sunday evening, they welcomed back Felice Mazzù, the man who oversaw their promotion to the top flight, for the first time in 48 years, and then took them to within four points of the title. This time, though, he was taking charge of local rivals Anderlecht, having switched allegiances following Vincent Kompany’s move to Burnley in the summer.
Apart from their manager, Union also lost a number of their key players in the transfer window, including the league’s top-scorer Deniz Undav, who moved to Brighton after signing a deal with them in January. His permanent replacement was Victor Boniface, who had recently arrived from Bodø/Glimt. Having made his debut against Kortrijk a couple of weeks ago, the Norwegian striker helped his side to a perfect start by scoring his first goal in Belgium in just the second minute of this match with a pinpoint finish from a tight angle.
Anderlecht replied within ten minutes through right wing-back Michael Murillo, who fooled the goalkeeper into thinking that he would cross the ball before squeezing it past him at the near post. Union restored their advantage after the half-hour through Dante Vanzeir’s volley following a corner, so they went into the half-time break with a lead. There were many more chances in the second half and the hosts were forced to rather hang on to their lead late on, but they ultimately got the job done to secure a hard-fought derby victory.
Having won all of the derbies in the league last season – both in the regular season and in the Championship play-offs – Union preserve their perfect league record against their local rivals since promotion with this win, which also sees them leapfrog them in the table. That makes hearing the fans singing ‘Bruxelles ma ville’ even sweeter.
🇮🇹 Italy: Lazio 3-1 Inter
We go all the way back to Friday night for our Serie A game this time, which is Inter’s trip to Rome to face Lazio.
Both sides looked far from their very best in this match, and the first half was an especially drab affair with hardly any goalmouth action to speak of. The home side did manage to take the lead a few minutes before half-time, though, as Felipe Anderson headed home Sergej Milinković-Savić’s long ball.
Lautaro Martínez equalised after a set-piece early on in the second half, but things really started to liven up as substitutes entered the field. Maurizio Sarri sent on Luis Alberto and Pedro in the 57th minute, and the duo went on to win the match for him. Pedro assisted the Spanish midfielder for a (deflected) wonderstrike in the 75th minute, before sealing the result himself late on.
With this win, Lazio join five other teams level on points at the top of the table including defending champions Milan, Napoli and local rivals Roma. They also extend their record of being undefeated against Inter at the Stadio Olimpico since 2018.
🇫🇷 France: Nice 0-3 Marseille
We highlighted Nice’s poor start to the season in the previous edition of the column, and things just got even worse for them on Sunday. This time, our focus will be on Marseille, who turned up to the Allianz Riviera and scored three goals.
Just a few days after Jorge Sampaoli decided to leave the club due to a perceived lack of ambition in the transfer window, Marseille signed Alexis Sánchez from Inter. The Chilean was the star of the show in this match as he opened the scoring and his Ligue 1 account in the 10th minute with a nice finish, before bagging a brace in the latter stages of the first half.
Sampaoli’s successor Igor Tudor has chosen to implement a back-three system, for which he had two new wing-backs who arrived in the summer. On the right was former Lens man Jonathan Clauss, who already registered his second assist in Marseille colours when he set up the opener. On the other flank was Arsenal loanee Nuno Tavares, who scored the second goal of the match to take his Ligue 1 tally up to three goals in four matches.
With Paris Saint-Germain dropping points against Monaco, Marseille end the weekend tied with the defending champions as well as Lens at the top of the table. While PSG remain overwhelming favourites for the title, Marseille’s bid to be the best of the rest again has gotten off to a good start.
Cover Image from IMAGO